What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
