Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
