The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
