Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
