whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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