If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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