i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
