It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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