$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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