it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
