i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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