we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
