remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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