I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
