Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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