My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
