My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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