More tranny stories later!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
