She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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