just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
