Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
