all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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