Nicole vs. Life
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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