Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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