More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
