are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
