Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
