he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
