As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
