I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
