mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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