Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
