Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Randomize
