Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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