Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
