i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
