Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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