Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
