he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I didn't shave. On purpose
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
