He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
