dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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