all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
