A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
