We won't sleep together?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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