we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
why is half of my head shaved?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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