its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
