I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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