Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
