he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
