I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
