Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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