I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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