Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
