why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
